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Sunday 6 January 2019

Passion and Purpose continues

It's been a funny old year.....
At the tail end of last year (2017) I got a prophetic word from reliable friends that this year would be a year of change.... but not in the way I thought.

It was nearly a year after mum's death and I was beginning to feel more positive.

Then came this word...

You will need to go through a process, your instinct will be to walk away BUT don't, go through the process but there will be a time of endings.

Boy was that true. I can honestly say that is a good summary of my year.

Horrendous is an
understatement.

24 hrs before this word I was told I had to go through a process, I had no real choice in. (I had not said that to those who gave me the word)

If it had not been for this word, I would have told people to get lost.

In the months that followed I thought about it many times.

It very nearly broke me.

What is perhaps worse people I trusted stuck the knife in.

I got a good old kicking.

BUT

I am a weeble....

and tempted as I was to punch a few people's lights out, I managed to centre on the Word and push through.

I don't always share what I have been through in my life but I know what I have overcome.

Some people probably don't see me in the right way at times.... I am not theologically trained, I call a spade a spade and well frankly

I am just a wee assertive woman at times who shoots from the hip

and well that can get people's hackles up.

That was not the only prophetic word I got this year though.

A Pig Farmer came up to me and shared a word about Dog walking and ministry.

He said something like this.

A dog walker picks up the dog Poo. But its not even their dogs dirt.... It's other people's dirt. Somewhat silently you follow behind picking up the mess others have created and left behind.

He then said

That is what you do in ministry. You go to the people no one else goes to. You roll up your sleeves and muck in. You don't pretend to have it sorted or pretend to be better.

That is what makes you have authority.

Now that sounds good doesn't it?

Well it does except my ministry as I knew it has been ripped to shreds.

Have you ever been in a place where you feel in the centre of His Will but at the same time a bit lost?

The stress and exhaustion of what I have been put through has knocked the stuffing out of me....slowly trying to rebuild my life.

I am acutely aware that this is not exactly a great advert to come to church.

A missionary being honest about hard stuff.

But you see people are people.... they make mistakes..... even christians mess up. (You just have to have a look at church history and you will find a multitude of bad choices)

In fact the mistakes of the church is often the reason people won't darken the door.

But God comes through.

You see it is my deep rooted passion for God that keeps me getting out of bed. It does not mean I don't have times that I think I could just walk away on life today...

God has been with me in every dark place I have been in. He never promised me an easy life....

You know its easy to be a missionary when you have exciting outreaches and miracles and people paying for your car..... but when you have had a ministry has been Tough and lots of people have put you down....  it takes real strength to know WHO you are and Be who you are called to Be.

I would even say that if all you are teaching is the WOW factor... you won't get people to last the race.

I can say that as I have had experience of spending a few hours with people with my honest shoot from the hip style.... it is me they skype if they need an ear.... they know that I make time for people. One person is important.

God does not promise people an easy ministry - it can be hard, very hard.

Some even have hard more constantly than fab and wow... and the thing is we seem to have contorted things and said that if you don't see the prosperity then it is YOU that is wrong.

Can I tell you that is a lie.

In my time as a  missionary I have had very poor financial support and many would have given up a long time ago. There have been people in that time that have challenged my call over that.

You know what God has always been faithful, He should be how to be creative and provided solutions.

Only sometimes people did not like the solution. They said oh you can't do it that way that is not right.... why not? If the people of God have not responded and if God shows you how to bridge the Gap why not?

You see we all too often want to keep God in a box.

We all too often want to have a nice life and not be sacrificial.

Give up your foreign holiday....downsize your car.....give your kid second hand goods for their Christmas.... give up having a salary........

And still people criticize...

Of course God may not ask you to do that... but are you willing to do it if it means you can be part of something bigger.

How much is to much? What would you be prepared to do for God?

Love until it hurts...

Passion with a purpose.

Happy New year folks

May you love have a year where you grow stronger, know who God created you to be and learn to be confident in being who you are.

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