I like wood.
I like the natural and tactile feel to wood. (Maybe I get that from my late dad, who was an apprentice cabinet maker at one time in his life.)
I have been known to get a bit of wood, whittle and sand it and make it into a jewellery display or something. I bought some driftwood candle holders but they were a bit rough, so the other day I bought some sand paper, sat on the the step and sanded them down to look better. It was just so good to do.
As I was in the shop, I got a sense of "Try it yourself" "Look for wood and get a tool, you will enjoy that. So I did.
I came back from the DIY store with a bit of varnish and a drill bit....hubby never said a word...he has still not asked..... after 16.5 years of marriage, he probably just knew it would not make sense even if he asked.
So I plan to look for wood I can work on.
Sometimes its best not to ask with me....
Like I said in part one of this, I tend not to be conventional.
You see all I can do is be obedient to the call in my life. If truth be told, that is all that any of us can do.
Its like when I wanted a clay plant pot, out of season to try a candlelight heater.... I couldn't find what I wanted so I made a rough looking pot to do the job out of clay from The Works.
Took me days to do...its rough looking. It is far from dainty or perfect but when I look at it - I know I crafted it. It has lumps and bumps like me but that does not mean its unworthy in anyway. God taught me a lot through the crafting process...not just about pots either. Things about creating and being creative. Everyone is creative, as He is the Creator and you are designed in his likeness, so you are creative (Just some are way more dainty than me.)
Now I know some of you are reading this and thinking WHAT?
I know, I empathise.... I sometimes don't understand me either at times.
So back to the (2nd) most reluctant missionary that has been on this planet.
I hate In yer face evangelism. Always have done. The mission organisation God asked me to join is often known for radical, cutting edge stuff. It prides itself in its ability to be decentralised. I like strategic thinking, planning and detail.
Don't you just love God's sense of humour? Ever feel like a square pin trying to fit in a round hole...most of my life but that is okay because I get that now, that is part of it.
My dad died just over a year ago, quite unexpected. Taken within a matter of days that put me in a head spin that searing loss thrusts you callously into.
The last few days were hell. As a mum and a daughter and a sister my thoughts were everywhere and no where...just trying survive it.
Still trying to carve my way out. Grief hits you when you least expect it.
Why bring up that? You see, I rarely tell folks I am a missionary.... I just try to live a life and share life with people.
I care and fight passionately for community.
I am however an introvert that has had my own life roller-coasters. I have never been Mrs Mega popular. I like my own space and family time...not mega social....not invited to lots of parties... on the edge....largely unnoticed and most of the time I don't mind that.
Equally sometimes I hate those things about me. Sometimes other people seem to get the breaks where I have to fight and graft for everything.
So why mention Dad. He was a quiet, unassuming man who liked the simple life. He rarely got angry (sometimes flustered) he loved to serve charities. He was a union rep, fought for justice and regularly wrote to papers commenting on council decisions or something of that ilk.
He lived in the same house for nearly all his life (78 years.) He went away and did National service but he always came home.
In some ways I am so like him... Although I am not so good at remaining calm.
I have a heart for local community, I have little interest in venturing far and wide (unless I sense God is asking me to do it)
I am a relationship person, not fussed by Big impact stuff or massive outreaches. I am not target focussed and I don't need to know the results.
Even in the the church there is tendency for targets and what am I getting for my money.
If you give, you give because you want to or have been called to and you trust that the person uses it in a good way.
One person matters to me. What do I mean by that?
Take the parable of the Lost sheep. The shepherd left the 99 sheep in order to find the one that was lost. One matters to God.
A few years ago someone shared with me a vision about an event they felt God wanted them to try to do. They did not know how to do it as they were not an organisation and public liability and all the rest of it would make it hard unless an organisation got behind them.
They approached the church, they liked the idea but did not want anything to do with it other than rent the building to them.
We started chatting and looked at how and if it could be done. Of course it could be done...it just takes someone to listen and draw along side.
To some people taking on that one day seemed pointless and of little importance.
By taking it on though, I saw a bigger picture. It was about helping someone to be obedient to follow an idea that God gave them. It built relationship. It increased confidence. It benefited others.
It may not have been the most successful event but it was okay. It was certainly worth doing.
Sadly sometimes we miss the big picture because we are too busy trying to see what we will get out of it.
When dad died, I was really struck by how my local community reacted. Few knew dad but they knew me. Most people also know loss.
I was really struck by who rallied round and showed me love at that time.
Relationships matter. Being listened to matters. Taking time for a pause matters....
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