Always a Rosie but not feeling that good.

Sunday and its church...

Better leave the dog at mum's as we will be going there after to see what we can sort through.
So I get the kids and the dog ready and drop the kids and hubby off at church, as hubby is playing at both morning services today again.

I take the dog up to mum's, he is ok being left there but its not the same as when mum was alive. He would jump on her bed and she would welcome him, I would sort some breakfast for mum, leave food and water for the dog  and leave them to snuggle in bed for a bit.

Today the dog follows me everywhere... even the bathroom.

I leave Andrew Marr Show on the TV for him, its normally Radio 4 he listens to but today I can't be bothered to find the right channel.

I biggish part of me wants to watch Andrew Marr Show and pick the family up later. Can I face church?

Come on trish pull yourself together... so I lock the door the dog following me... stay there boy...

I take the post to the neighbour. 5 out of 6 are for the upstairs neighbour.... just what is it with the postman that he reads ROSIE and then puts 5 letters with different names through the door. The 6th one is a Christmas card from someone that still has dad's  name on it..... and he has been gone 2 and a half years....but as with most christmas cards its first name only with no return address... so what can I do?

I get as far as the hill and the neighbour stops me, we chat for a while and talk about mum and the difficulties we are having returning hospital equipment... and oh the council has delivered two new sets of bins, so we now have 3 new sets.... guess I should phone the council too now.

I finally get in the car, emotionally drained before 9.45 head to church and I can't seem to shut the car down.For 2 or 3 minutes I try to figure it out before it closes down.

This is hubby's car and the key does not work right but we can't justify the expense of getting a new key... so I try to recall how to lock it safely, manage it and walk over to church.

Half way there I hear a voice, "You look tired"

I am, so I say it how it is " Well considering my mum died a few weeks ago, I am trying to clear a house, look after my kids, work, celebrate my daughters birthday and think about Christmas, I guess I am... and by the way I am not sleeping well"

"Oh sorry"

"Well at least I am here"

"Yes that is an achievement"

I hope that was not rude but I am tired...

And that was all before church,,,,

Happy Christmas carols...great.

I try to sit in but I am not up for singing... I just try to listen but even that is hard....

And that was part of the morning....done in...wishing I had stayed in bed