In it for the Long Haul - Being obedient in the midst of trial.

Around this time last year, I had the privilege of having a YWAM team come to my city. I had the opportunity to speak with them. Having a team visit is often a way for you to encourage, envision and sometimes even recruit long term staff to the city. So I thought of all the history of what we did and why we do it. The things that give me passion - loving someone without any conditions. Sharing the gospel by Word and by deed.

But then when I went to bed, I felt I had to share some of the hard stuff. Being on short term mission is different to being in it for the long haul.
Short term mission you can have long days that are packed with meeting after meeting. On the road... but then you go home or move on...

You don't have time for establishing long term relationships and you look for the outcomes, who made commitments... who was healed...

Long term you are home, you can not go at the pace you would as a short termer ( otherwise you would burn out pretty fast) and you are interested in relationship with your neighbours and local churches.

You have to be able to cope when the rough and the smooth.

So after a sleepless night, I felt I had to change what I was going to say.

The next morning, my son came down the stair and suddenly told me some events that had happened the previous day at school.. he did not want to go to school because of what happened. It required my immediate attention and so I had to arrange to see the Head Teacher and the team had to wait.

Running an hour late and sleep deprived, I knew more than ever that I had to be honest with this team how hard it is at times.

I have had a rough 4 years...with little let up. I won't go into what I said, if I am honest I am not entirely sure. It was passionate and from the heart.

What I do know is that several thanked me for my honesty. I also know that more than one of them connect with me from wherever they are in the world if the want to chat about or mull over decisions. They know I will listen... they know I love the nitty gritty of pastoral care. Helping people to evaluate their position and enable them to create a space where they can stand back and work out what God is saying to them. It is easy to tell students that full time mission is just the best ever... and it is at times. I am fortunate to be able to share my life everyday and share hope and love... but there are days that are hard. Sometimes even Christians don't get you. Or they want you to spend more time with them, instead of those who don't know God. Almost like you will fall off the wagon, if you don't set yourself apart.
All of these encounters with people matter, even if it is 30 minutes of my day (or more). Seeing people through these small things are just as important to the more visible parts of ministry. One person matters to God.


Life is messy, are you going to roll your sleeves up or stand back and pass judgement?

If we are going to train people to be in the mission field, we need to equip them how to stay when the going gets tough. My trials can not compare to that of missionaries in danger zones.

I was juggling the challenge of ageing parents, bereavement, the grief of your children, whilst the challenge of bullies. Being a mum and doing work. Not to mention feeling orphaned. Then the panic of being in a supermarket, when you are at the point of still trying to function..Every part of you at full stretch for years, whilst few noticed.

You just want to scream "Can anyone see me?"

Just like the dynamism of short term mission you can't sustain that without the cracks beginning to show.... but you are on this runaway train and you can't jump off.

Spinning plate syndrome occurs...

Until one day God says "BUCK"

So like a heavy laden donkey, the yoke that has been weighing it down has been thrown.

Have I given up? No chance, I know who called me and I know who will see me through. Some things will be picked up again and some things won't.

This might be a crossroads in the journey.... or the end of the chapter ....but its not the end of the story.... but it may be a new chapter is about to begin.