A Cobble Stone Ministry

Sometimes its only when you look back and see where you have been, that you see what you have achieved.

In September I clocked 10 years of being in ministry. That number is the longest that I have been in a job ever. I will be honest too and say that when I went back to long term mission, I did not think it would be for 10 years.

I would love to say that I thrive at it, some people seem to buzz and bloom. That is not always the case for me.

In fact it has been quite an uneven road. Have you ever heard of a round hole, square pin scenario? That would be how I would sum up how I feel a lot of the time.

I don't seem to tick the boxes. The way I do mission tends to challenge Church and mission orgs. (Infact I have been told I would not be accepted if I had applied elsewhere .... just as well my call is where it is then)

I have thought of a sabbatical.... but being a home based missionary with family responsibilities how does that really work? Home based missionaries don't get home leave either.

After my dad died I just did less. I thought about stopping completely but the reality is that I needed some work in order to keep the balance. I know some might think that sounds crazy but for my own mental health, I needed to keep going in order to keep myself falling further into the depths of grief.

Sometimes I got that balance wrong. (I knew that one night 6 months after dad died and I was standing in a car park having a panic attack - I don't normally have panic attacks)

I have lost a lot of family members but losing a parent is something quite different. More than 18 months on and I still miss dad most days. In a way that is okay, he was such a gentle spirited man that has had a key and influential role in moulding and shaping me to me the woman of God that I am.

He was a trade union rep and fought for things like equal pay long before it was fashionable. He won every tribunal case he ever took on. He was on the ball and articulate, writing letters and expressing opinions.

I know some of you may be reading this and say "Ah that is where she gets it from" (although I think dad was less feisty)

I am a community worker, passionate about community and passionate about truth and honesty.

In terms of the Christian realm, I am passionate about Kingdom investment.

What does that mean? Does that mean money? Yes and No.

I am passionate about being obedient to God above all else.

Sadly, even in the church today, worldly mindsets creep in.

What is in it for us? Will doing something be a financial strain? Will it make us look good?

I look at is it right to continue. Or is it right to hand over? Sometimes I continue something even when it costs and is low in attendance because God has not told me to stop but instead persevere.

Sometimes it is more important to have one conversation or key relationship rather than a really successful project that has x number of people through the door.

I went away last weekend, I had been looking to for sometime but finding a way to do it can be hard when there are so many family responsibilities.

I had a prophetic word given that both recharged and resonated with me. I would love to say that things would get wow, amazing but the reality is that that sometimes you need people that will walk on the harder ground, gutsy enough to speak out and say things people may not say or even say what is on God's heart when people get to messed up with what seems logical.

Stirling's name is Place of striving, but instead it will be a place of thriving.

That is many people's prayer for the city and so I stand with them and declare that not only over the city but for those who live and work in it.

crafting a path - different hats one goal

Today I took a stall at a coffee morning. Selling my goods. My name is Ochiltrinkets on such occasions. Selling candles, some of my jewellery I male or photos that I have taken and put into cards.

Someone asked me when do you have time... The truth is I don't. The fact is that my stuff is very often under the stair and certainly in the last year or so I have had very little time for it.

I would love a wee room where it would be easily accessible.

I sold a few items today, not many. If truth be told I enjoyed seeing the buzz and listening to the hub of a community supporting a community run venture. ( I made my table and a little more )

Again it was a God thing a few years ago. God told me the name to use. I thought foolishly perhaps that I would do this and make enough to do ministry but these days the market is flooded with people doing this kind of stuff,

But never the less I do the odd table  at a fayre and the local shop sells my stuff for a small percentage of takings.

Every so often I get a little extra in my pocket (which I declare of course) Its funny a few months ago I got some sales that equalled the price of the new tyre that we needed. ( Funny that huh)

I stress is it going to sell, will I run at a loss? At the end of the day though that matters only a little  though. When I do get the jewellery out or take photos to turn in to greetings cards , I enjoy it. It relaxes me . When I get a little income to plough back into stock, It allows me to hold my head high and know I did that or people liked that... or simply I am doing what I can.

Dignity  is a funny thing.... being able to provide for someone or buy a gift or even have food to eat, is for some a simple thing that they would love to do.

Some people think that that may only be for the poor in another land.
It is however real for so many in the UK.

I have heard some say oh they can afford it? How would you really know though? They could be stuck in credit card debt and be trying to  fend off their creditors while trying to climb back up the slippery pole?

I enjoyed myself today. I relaxed and liked embracing the creative part of me.

It is just another aspect of how God created me.

Crafting a path in a life less ordinary Part 3

I will let you into a secret... I enjoy prayer. I would love to say that it is the first thing I do....but often its not. I would love to say that I see miracles happen as part of my norm... but seeing legs grow before me or miraculous healing is not part of my norm.

I  have seen it though.

On my first Overseas mission trip when I was 19, I was in the atlas mountains and one of our team fell and gashed his arm (trying to chase a sheep herder that had just nabbed the team members sleeping bag) We were 3 days walk from a hospital, we prayed and were all stunned as we saw this gash dry up infront of us. within 20 minutes it had closed over, clotted and was small enough for a dressing.

When we started praying, we had not expected that. You don't forget that type of thing.

I have however had the disappointment of my prayer not being answered in the way that I wanted.

As I have grown with experience, I have learnt to hear and tune into God's voice. On a few occasions in my life I have felt God speak and forewarn me of things. Normally it has been to prepare me /uphold me for sad news.

A few years ago I was so closed off to such things, even raising a hand in church to praise would be hard....now when I sense God on the move in a meeting, its not unusual for me to sense an army of warriors marching....sometimes I pound out to the sound.

For my non religious friends reading this, you may think yup we knew it she's strange...

A few years ago I did a prophetic mentoring course..and my tutor told me to try prophetic art... I nearly fell off my chair...me ....art ...PAH!

Then in Tesco, God reminded me and I found myself buying pencils and a sketch book.... Okay I will do it God but only in private.... No way will I do at a Light and life outreach...

Not a good idea to put limits on God...

I am more like a p1 drawing but you know what when I tune in to God, get a word or picture that wants one...that is enough to know God has used me to uplift a person. I have been fortunate enough to hear back from one or two people as well ... which is good to know I have been on track.

Getting results or seeing results is always good. It gives you a buzz.
Even as Christians you want the buzz or the WOW factor.
But like I said those experiential buzzes are just that. Some people thrive on them and hunger for their next one.

Some days life is hard, you don't get the answer you want - you want to spit the dummy and stamp your feet.

Some people want every prayer meeting to be buzzing....

It's not always about you though...

I am getting into a habit of pausing.....

Breath, deep intake and pause.

It's in that stillness you can gain strength.

Crafting a path in a life less ordinary. Part 2

I like wood.

I like the natural and tactile feel to wood. (Maybe I get that from my late dad, who was an apprentice cabinet maker at one time in his life.)

I have been known to get a bit of wood, whittle and sand it and make it into a jewellery display or something. I bought some driftwood candle holders but they were a bit rough, so the other day I bought some sand paper, sat on the the step and sanded them down to look better.  It was just so good to do.

As I was in the shop, I got a sense of  "Try it yourself" "Look for wood and get a tool, you will enjoy that. So I did.

I came back from the DIY store with a bit of varnish and a drill bit....hubby never said a word...he has still not asked..... after 16.5 years of marriage, he probably just knew it would not make sense even if he asked.

So I plan to look for wood I can work on.

Sometimes its best not to ask with me....

Like I said in part one of this, I tend not to be conventional.

You see all I can do is be obedient to the call in my life. If truth be told, that is all that any of us can do.

Its like when I wanted a clay plant pot, out of season to try a candlelight heater.... I couldn't find what I wanted so I made a rough looking pot to do the job out of clay from The Works.

Took me days to do...its rough looking. It is far from dainty or perfect but when I look at it - I know I crafted it. It has lumps and bumps like me but that does not mean its unworthy in anyway. God taught me a lot through the crafting process...not just about pots either. Things about creating and being creative. Everyone is creative, as He is the Creator and you are designed in his likeness, so you are creative (Just some are way more dainty than me.)

Now I know some of you are reading this and thinking WHAT?

I know, I empathise.... I sometimes don't understand me either at times.

So back to the (2nd) most reluctant missionary that has been on this planet.

I hate In yer face evangelism. Always have done. The mission organisation God asked me to join is often known for radical, cutting edge stuff. It prides itself in its ability to be decentralised. I like strategic thinking, planning and detail.

Don't you just love God's sense of humour? Ever feel like a square pin trying to fit in a round hole...most of my life but that is okay because I get that now, that is part of it.

My dad died just over a year ago, quite unexpected. Taken within a matter of days that put me in a head spin that searing loss thrusts you callously into.

The last few days were hell. As a mum and a daughter and a sister my thoughts were everywhere and no where...just trying survive it.

Still trying to carve my way out.  Grief hits you when you least expect it.

Why bring up that? You see, I rarely tell folks I am a missionary.... I just try to live a life and share life with people.

I care and fight passionately for community.

I am however an introvert that has had my own life roller-coasters. I have never been Mrs Mega popular. I like my own space and family time...not mega social....not invited to lots of parties... on the edge....largely unnoticed and most of the time I don't mind that.

Equally sometimes I hate those things about me. Sometimes other people seem to get the breaks where I have to fight and graft for everything.

So why mention Dad. He was a quiet, unassuming man who liked the simple life. He rarely got angry (sometimes flustered) he loved to serve charities. He was a union rep, fought for justice and regularly wrote to papers commenting on council decisions or something of that ilk.

He lived in the same house for nearly all his life (78 years.) He went away and did National service but he always came  home.

In some ways I am so like him... Although I am not so good at remaining calm.

I have a heart for local community, I have little interest in venturing far and wide (unless I sense God is asking me to do it)

I am a relationship person, not fussed by Big impact stuff  or massive outreaches. I am not target focussed and I don't need to know the results.
Even in the the church there is tendency for targets and what am I getting for my money.

If you give, you give because you want to or have been called to and you trust that the person uses it in a good way.

One person matters to me. What do I mean by that?

Take the parable of the Lost sheep. The shepherd left the 99 sheep in order to find the one that was lost. One matters to God.

A few years ago someone shared with me a vision about an event they felt God wanted them to try to do. They did not know how to do it as they were not an organisation and public liability and all the rest of it would make it hard unless an organisation got behind them.

They approached the church, they liked the idea but did not want anything to do with it other than rent the building to them.

We started chatting and looked at how and if it could be done. Of course it could be done...it just takes someone to listen and draw along side.

To some people taking on that one day seemed pointless and of little importance.

By taking it on though, I saw a bigger picture. It was about helping someone to be obedient to follow an idea that God gave them. It built relationship. It increased confidence. It benefited others.

It may not have been the most successful event but it was okay. It was certainly worth doing.

Sadly sometimes we miss the big picture because we are too busy trying to see what we will get out of it.

When dad died, I was really struck by how my local community reacted. Few knew dad but they knew me. Most people also know loss.

I was really struck by who rallied round and showed me love at that time.

Relationships matter. Being listened to matters. Taking time for a pause matters....

Crafting a path in a life less ordinary Part 1

I have not written for a while... That is what I usually start with isn't it? Well today is no different.
Some of you may have never seen this blog before but for those who have you will know its my way of honestly living it.

What exactly?

Life.

I am a mum doing mission and for much of my life I have never taken the conventional path.... so people don't get it... most of the time.... no matter who you are or what field you are in.

So I am crafting a path less ordinary....not because I want to be different (Oh my goodness no - sometimes I scream for a regular job with a regular wage)

You see I never really meant to do this.....but its what I have been called to do.

For nearly 10 years now I have been a missionary. That was never really the plan. Infact I have sometimes joked that I must be one of the most reluctant missionaries on the planet.

(Although one friend did laugh at that comment and retorted, "Well I don't know Tricia, I think Jonah may have beaten you on that one")

Fair point.

As a teenager I knew I was called to Youth and community work... but I don't fit in to the young, trendy, extrovert  personality that so many like to have for youth workers.

Being a Christian, I tried a few short term courses but a well meaning pastor tried to steer me to Bible college but it was not right and I got rejected on more than one occasion.

When this feeling or call would not give up, I tried again but when I looked the Christian courses did not cut it and so I went to University.

I very clearly got a clear call that I would work in both sectors - the christian field and the world.

When I went to Uni, having left school with no highers, I thought I was finally going to earn a half decent income. (Little did I know God's plan)

I worked hard, specialised in strategic management in community work, developed a passion for volunteer management, was accepted to stay on for honours and then eventually graduated with a 2:1.

I worked my way through Uni with a Local authority, then God asked me to give it up and join a missionary organisation.

Now there is nothing wrong with that but just like everything in my life its not the usual route. You see as a family, its fairly normal that families join the organisation and both husband and wife are missionaries....

Blow that stereotype out the water for both the organisation, my church and whoever else cares....its just me ... hubby has a job he loves.

Stereotype 2 - YOU GO Somewhere, you give up your house and life and serve somewhere.

Again, God did not ask me to go or give up my home (but I did give up a salaried job)

Stereotype 3 You have to be full time - I started part time (although that has changed slightly)

God told me funding would be hard as I was not going to be a traditional missionary ( whatever that means) and I was to take a job.

So for nearly 10 years I did casual work for Scottish Autism... But its hard to be a mum, run a ministry and work in care.

Changes in the care sector led me to start a business walking dogs.

Its early days and I could do with a few more clients but I should have done it ages ago..... I get out, walk a dog, pray and have time to think or pray...

It really is so much more beneficial for ministry... I get time out. I have carved space into the day and Pause.

And that my friends is what I will do now....Pause.

I plan this to be a series of reflections or testimony, whatever you want to call it....I hope you join me in this journey....Part 2 will follow soon
Blessings,