Living It

In recent years my husband and I have taken to a bit of foraging. There are so many things in our area that can be used that just simply people pass by. Elderflower, dandelions, brambles (Blackberry) apples and elderberries to name a few. Granted we tend to use it them for wine or crumbles but never the less there are lots of things you can just pass by....so many think its easier to go to the supermarket. The other day I picked some brambles after a dog walk. We are gathering as much as we can and then we will make wine or maybe once apples are ready have a nice crumble. As I was picking some were over ripe and just squirted juice and stained my hands. At another bush a strand of thorns came whipping down and stuck to my arm in 3 places ripping my skin. I gathered enough in the tub I had with me and left, aware that many were not ripe yet. In my mind there is a wee marker saying check back in a week if you have time and there will be plenty more. Yesterday I spoke to someon...

I posted the other day, as we put Mum and dad's house on the market that it was devastating and like my heart is being ripped out. There is an saying "Home is where the heart is" and that is true.  At the end of this week is my birthday - mid forties. All of my life, infact for all of my dad's life (minus 6 weeks) home was Clifford Road. It's been in the family for nearly 82 years. Be clear that I have lived elsewhere and I have been married for nearly 19 years and had another home - but HOME was Clifford Road. I know that because when I need to call my husband at home, I still sometimes start to call my parent's house number. When we stopped the line from incoming calls a few months ago, I cried. Other family members have different attachments and have different reactions. For me though that change was significant. Grief gets you like that and everyone is different. If I had the money I would buy the whole building back. (It's a traditional ...

Have you ever been in the position where someone has asked you "How are you?" and you just know that the answer that they are expecting is "Fine thanks and you?" You just know that the question is said out of habit or as a common greeting rather than genuine care about your wellbeing. People learn from social cues. So fortunately we tend to know when people ask for politeness sake as oppose to those that actually want an honest answer from you. I don't know if its an age thing or not - I am kind of known for speaking my mind. In certain circumstances... It is certainly the case though that I have less concern about the need to sugar coat things just in-case the person listening does not like the harsh reality of facts. I read the other day an article that a minister had written about how to look after a pastor.  There is a tendency to say, you can't complain... you are in God's service and its for God's glory so of course you will do it. The ...

A few weeks ago, I had a bunch of students come and visit to see what I do in the city and to do some missions work. I sat down one night and thought, how do I prepare for this? So as you do you get all the information and try to think about presentation.  I ended up scrapping my planned, in control communication and told the blunt truth about the path I walk. I am fed up sugar coating things. Lately I have been in a few situations where I have found myself not quite fitting someone else's box in terms of what a missionary does or how to engage. It has brought about all kinds of reflections as to whether you see the big picture or small picture? There are those who see "living by faith" as something where people fund you and anything less is not right. There are those in modern day Christianity that see this way of living as no better than those on benefits.  What you expect me to fund you? There are those who give their funds freely, unconditionally and those ...

What do you see in the image above? Which images do you see first? Two faces or a Goblet? Can you see each image clearly or is one harder to see than the other? Do you see all or part of the picture? We can be so busy with what is important to us that we don't see the whole picture. Sometimes we only see what we want to see and we forget to stand back for a wider glimpse. So many things are open to interpretation and who knows sometimes you may see something that is not even there. How then do you understand and interpret things correctly. If people start at different starting points you may not see the same thing at all. There has to be understanding. My profession as a community learning development practitioner is often a misunderstood profession.  You have probably heard the saying about whether it is better to give a man a fish to eat or teach him to fish? In other words giving a man a fish can teach him to be dependent whilst teaching him to fish g...

It has been a few weeks since I last blogged. The truth is I have been in a dark place, I still am... There have been nights where I have thought about blogging but I have been too tired or too angry. The old phase " you know who your friends are" becomes a reality when your journey is rough... Sadly though the people you think will help sometimes are the very ones that let you down. On the counter side sometimes you get support that you did not expect. But somehow your grieving is added to by those that disappoint. I have started knitting in the last few weeks. Partly because a teacher wrote me off at it at school, and partly because I want to be tired. I am a slow knitter and not a great one either but I am getting there. (Online videos are great way to learn lol) It makes me tired and I am more likely to sleep better. To most people they have moved on. To me, its fresh and I know I have not crashed yet. Every day has dark moments and if I am honest I don...

Yesterday was a significant day. It would have been Mum's 83rd Birthday. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a conference on at my church that day. It looked like my kind of deal. Organisational dynamics, reaching out in today's post modern world. I quite fancied it but I knew it was mum's birthday. I booked it even although we have had a tight month, probably yearning for feeling a normal and competent professional. Knowing that it would be an aim to get there and knowing I might just opt out and have coffee and cake. Then my son came home and said he was doing the address to the lassies at their burns supper afternoon. The value of being a mum who is there rose within me but thankfully as I have a hubby who is magnificent, he said "still go to the conference, I will take time off" As the day drew nearer I was wondering if I had made the right call. It would mean up early to walk the dog early....but I slept in. Okay I can still do this... it was tight and ...

I am glad God created different personality types. Although I have done my stint in retail jobs, I was never one that was driven to hit the corporate targets for sales. Some people thrive on that though, but not me. Being a relational person I always liked giving good customer service in such jobs (infact I would love to be a secret shopper. I like to to avoid self service tills and like to see how staff act if I ask a question..) I am relational, I can't help it. I also know when it comes to planning stuff, I can hack people off. I have just come back from a prayer meeting, I planned. Some people like to know the specifics of what we will pray, what topics etc before they decide whether or not they will come... I tend to have themes but I don't tend to publish them in advance, if you turn up its because you want to pray. The truth is I don't always know what the theme is too much in advance.... and to be honest if the prayers go off in another way its ok. God has obvio...