Let's get some Perspective

 So the year is coming to a close...

Let's face it, it has been a year that has challenged most of us in ways we could never imagine. 

A pandemic came to town and has stayed.

For me that meant losing the majority of my income in 48 hrs. As a self employed person, I have got used to no guarantees. You can lose a regular client at very short notice. When things are good I don't think oh let's spend it all. So I had money for a rainy day. I had ear marked it for something else but it was there and the something else will have to wait.

Restrictions

Few of us like being told that we can't be free to see people or go where we want and do as we like. On the other hand though we have maybe just been living in a very fortunate time, until now.

I had not realised how much I enjoyed being outside walking dogs. Well I had and I hadn't. Being told to do one hour exercise outside only actually panicked me. I found that my garden got pressure washed just so I could be out and be doing something.

Church

Well it's church but not as we know it. 

I have been amazed at how people react. Some of my friends started talking about how their freedoms and rites were being denied. Interesting. The way I saw it however was we are not allowed to do it in the way (tradition) in which we are used to doing it. That is due to a public health matter (the pandemic) it was not safe to do what we normally do.

There were some extreme reactions. 

You can use the Bible to argue your case for a lot of things. You can pick verses and shout discrimination but the truth is it wasn't. Arts, sports and faiths of all kinds were being asked to stop or rethink how they did things for the sake of public safety.

I like to take the stance that I am prepared to do things differently for the sake of the health of others and for myself. Even if it is inconvenient.

I must admit I am not in a rush to get back to in person services either. I love worship and I can be quite animated. It is hard to be in the sanctuary with a mask on, physically restricted....whereas the youtube live streams and recordings mean I can join in with my church or another and be in unity, even if the physical presence is missing.

Don't get me wrong, I have struggled like the best of us.

At the start of the year I started a COSCA counselling course. We had to finish it via zoom. One of the things we spoke about is the importance of endings. When you can't see an end to something it can be a real battle.

That is perhaps the hardest thing, not knowing when this will end. 

That is why we have to have an understanding of self. What are the small things that help you in those moments of stress.

A walk, a good coffee, a zoom meeting with friends, a fire pit?

Maybe none of the above, or all of them. Whatever it is learn to be good to yourself and do what it is that helps you.

If you find yourself thinking "I wonder how x is"  Or I should phone...

Do it. Don't put it off.

Be kind to yourselves. Not only that be kind to others. What gives you that calming moment, will not be what suits your friend. That being the case, your way might be the best way for you but it may not be the best way for your friend.

It does not mean that your friend is doing things wrong or that your are coping better than your friend. It just means that you different. You have different coping mechanisms.

My hubby likes the dog but he sees dog walking largely as a chore. He will sometimes take the dog out or even up the hills if he feels the need but largely its me that walks the dog. Mostly, I like dog walking (well it is what gives me income these days.) Dog walking has helped my grieving, it lets me think, it gives me exercise. Dogs don't talk back. I can walk and think or walk and pray. Two people with different thoughts on the same thing.

The year is nearly at an end and it is true to say I have walked less than normal. However, even in lockdown I have walked 1200 plus miles ( and then there was a week where my polar was broken.)

Being in lockdown is hard. Being in the smallest county is hard. It is however a beautiful area. You have to be able to find the positives in the amongst the negatives.

So stay well, stay safe and I hope to see you sometime in the New year if the restrictions allow me.

Voices

 The world is full of voices. All yearning to be heard. Conspiracy is shouting and causing havoc. Everyone is shouting about rights. Longing to be free. Longing for how it used to be. Causing havoc and distress. 

When you let this voice be heard, rebellion raises its head. Defiance. Anger. Frustration. Negativity.

 

Where has gratitude gone? Where has peacefulness gone?

You can not let anxiety win...............Breathe. Feel the inhale and exhale. Focus.

We all have good days and bad days.

When there is no clear end we get restless.

Be thankful for this day. The dog catching his ball, the cat the comes for a cuddle.  The smell of autumn blooms. The golden brown leaves....

Kick them. Play and don't care who sees.

Collect conkers.

Smell the perfume.

Think of your childhood pleasure. Wagon wheels (even if they are smaller.)

Sing into your hairbrush in the kitchen (even if you can'r go to choir)

Light your fire pit. 

Read a book.

Be the best version of your self that you can be....

And if that is a lesser self today.... hey there is a clean slate tomorrow.

Hold on....Tomorrow is a new dawn.

Keep It Simple

"Love never does anything that is harmful to a neighbour. 
Therefore, love fulfils Moses' Teachings."  Romans 13:10

The last few days have been interesting to watch. Heartbreaking but interesting. The events in America with George Floyd being murdered by a uniformed cop is stunning yet at the same time not that surprising.

At what point did that policemen think kneeling on a neck was at all reasonable? At what point did his colleagues think, this is okay, so we will stand and watch?

Even as a man lay defenceless, saying I can't breathe... there was still no intervention or something to fire those brain cells into an alternative course of action.

Yet we see people commenting that riots and vandalism is outrageous....

Really?

A man dies due to another man kneeling on a point where both blood supply and oxygen are constricted by a man that is supposed to keep law and order... then you wonder why people are outraged and defy law and order?

Don't get me wrong violence is not the answer. But can you really be surprised?

A few years ago I took part in a "Make poverty History March" A Peaceful event but I have to say that there was one point when a small group around us suddenly masked up and the atmosphere changed. As a young mum with a toddler in the pram my fear rose as I could sense we could be caught up in something not done in my name.

Thankfully it was a small group and the local police stemmed the group quickly.

There will always be people that will seize the opportunity to cause destruction. There will also be people that may use an event and make an indirect link to something.

When I was at Uni I was aghast that an Asian colleague said to me that because I was white, I must see myself as superior to him.

Now this man obviously had experienced racism in his life but he was also wrong to think that all whites are racist. 

"Love never does anything that is harmful to a neighbour. 
Therefore, love fulfils Moses' Teachings."  Romans 13:10

This is simple there is no "ah but only if they share the same colour skin or worship the same God"

Love does not do anything that is harmful to a neighbour.

All lives matter.

If Buildings Could Speak

This may seem like a rather odd post but this is something that recurs for me. Perhaps it is just my creative mind but have you ever thought what you might find out if buildings could speak?

I don't mean this in a mad Alexa is collecting data on you way (although I am sure Alexa is)

I mean this in a historical way.


My family home that sadly we had to sell a few years ago had been in my family for 82 years. I know some of what went on and whilst it had been part sold off in stages it was my home. (Even after a moved out and got married, as my folks were still there.)

But it is interesting.

Numerous members of the family have lived or had experience of that house .... all different experiences. Last year for example one of my cousins let my sister and I know that our Grandfather had been in WW1. Now this might not seem that unusual as a statement but my grandfather was born in 1879, so my sister and I had always assumed grandpa would of been too old to be in WW1. it turned out that my older cousins remembered a picture of him in his uniform. My family never got many pictures when my gran passed away, those went to other family members. I guess however, there can be an assumption that everyone knows something. The truth however is that everyone has different memories.

Some of my memories of that place are things like when gran turned her table upside down and gave us a tablecloth in order that we  could play ships. Or birthday parties in summer. I could also tell you where all the animals are buried.

I was brought up in an old town (now a city). Where servant bells were once common place within homes. I was walking round the city a few years ago and I thought. What if these homes could speak? What stories would they tell?

When I was in Dublin, I lived in a convent grounds.

My time there was full of fun, opportunities and vision.

I lived with fellow students whilst doing  a course. We had lots of fun experiences there. The nuns that were still there would close the grounds at 10pm. So it was not unheard of to get a punt over the wall if we were late. (My organisation just rented off the nuns)


Whilst I lived there my friends (many of whom I still have contact with)  and  we shared visions, dreams and also trauma. We had picnics in the garden and learned all kinds of things about God and our relationship to him.
When my then boyfriend visited, I walked round the garden a Biblical 7 times (by accident) discussing with him about a potential marriage with him. (My husband of over 20 years) I knew I was to marry him..... I just had to wait for him to figure that out. lol.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that site had a dark past. A laundry where young women had a terrible life. A site where it is now known to have mass unmarked graves.

A place that later went on to be derelict and vandalised...

But wait... the story does not end there.... that site is now a place of life again. It now is home to a charity that helps homeless get back on their feet again.

You see that building has had different phases....  good and bad.

Some people might walk past and only know one aspect of the its history.

You know the same can be said of people.


We, as people, have relationships at differing levels. Some people we let in more than others. Some are allowed in because they have invested in relationship. At other times we protect and keep ourselves safe.

In this period of lockdown we have seen self-sacrifice, tremendous generosity and a few acts of self preservation and selfish breaking the rules.

The truth is you will always see a diverse response.

People have suffered loss and grief. All kinds of loss and uncertainty exist. We have a choice about how to respond. We can allow the external circumstance invade our inner peace or we can draw from our inner strength and pour out love, friendship and generosity.

Just before lockdown one of my neighbours had to adjust that his wife had to go into a home. Sadly she passed away soon after. Before she died I had left my details with him just incase he needed them. When his wife died I was so touched that he called to let me know because I had asked after her on a few occasions.

Now we chat and even exchange cooking tips!

It doesn't take much to listen and care.

Be the light that you are created to be and shine.